Moving Forward: The Restless Joy of Creating Music
Why I Rarely Revisit My Work Once It’s Released (and Why Live Performances Are the Exception)
As a composer and producer, my greatest joy comes from the act of creating. There’s something exhilarating about starting with a blank canvas, experimenting with sounds, and shaping a piece of music until it feels complete. But once a project is released into the world, I find myself restless, eager to dive into something new.
An experience last weekend perfectly illustrates this. Friends invited me for dinner, and when I arrived, they had my recent album, The Time We Are Given, playing in the background. They thought it would make me feel at home, which was very kind and thoughtful. But honestly, it made me feel a bit uncomfortable.
The truth is, I rarely listen to my own music once it’s been published. When I do, I can’t help but focus on the little imperfections that escaped during the production process. I find myself thinking about how I’d fix them, even though it’s too late. It’s a strange relationship—this music that I poured so much of myself into becomes something I admire from a distance but avoid lingering on.
Performing live is a different story. When I play my music in front of an audience, it becomes alive again. Each performance is a chance to reinterpret the piece, often weaving in moments of improvisation that make it feel fresh and new. It’s not about revisiting the past but reimagining it in real-time, sharing the moment with the people in the room.
That’s why I like to keep moving forward, always looking to the next composition or album. For me, the magic isn’t in what’s finished—it’s in the process of discovery, in the joy of creating something new.
“It’s a strange relationship—this music that I poured so much of myself into becomes something I admire from a distance but avoid lingering on.”
It’s been exactly two months since the release of my last album, and I’m feeling the pull to dive back into composing for the next project. Right now, I’m calling it Water Baby, inspired by the children’s story The Water Babies by Charles Kingsley, written in 1862-1863. This title holds a certain mystery that feels fitting for the path ahead.
"Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid" - Illustration by Jessie Willcox Smith - Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Cabinet of American Illustration.
I have a loose sense of the direction I want this album to take, though the creative process can be delightfully unpredictable. New inspirations can emerge from unexpected places, reshaping the journey in ways I might not anticipate.
What’s exciting about this project is that, for the first time, I want to bring you along in shaping it. This Behind the Scenes publication on Substack is a space for us to explore together. You’ll be able to hear early composition mockups, get a sneak peek at the first artwork ideas, and share your thoughts on the elements taking shape. Your input could play a real part in the final work!
Thank you for being here, and for joining me on this creative journey. Let’s dive into Water Baby together!